That Girl
by One Brave Lamb
Summary: Who's that girl? It's Bella. And three guys. In one apartment. Oh boy, this should be interesting. AH.
1. Chapter One

_A/N - I'm not crazy. Yet. I just needed something a little lighter, to keep me from stabbing my eyes out. Ya know, because SFttR is kinda harsh. Anyway, this idea came after watching the pilot episode of The New Girl. I hope it makes you laugh. Otherwise, I'm just fail._

_Many thanks to GrayMatters for beta'ing and to Miss Mandy Pants for pre-reading. Ryden, this is for you. And Stef, you will adore Edward. Just wait and see. Love you all, like whoa._

_All recognizable characters and quotes are the property of Stephenie Meyer. All lyrics belong to their respective owners. _

* * *

><p>"So, there I was sitting in the backseat of a taxi, in a trench coat. Oh my God, this is so embarrassing. I was naked under there, ya know? So I called Alice, one of my best friends, for moral support. We talked about stripper names and decided that I would be Supple Sugar Tits, because they were great words." The girl grinned briefly, before she hung her head and sighed sadly.<p>

God, how long had she been talking?

"Anyway. When I got to our apartment, Eric was just waking up. He looked all adorably rumpled, standing there all confused in his undies. I even laughed a little, before I told him I had a surprise for him. I even used my sex operator voice. I was all, 'Ba da duh da dum, I'm home early for you, in my birthday suit. Don't you wanna sex me up?'"

Holy shit, did she just sing?

"And so I dropped the trench, and then did a pirouette. I may have bent over and shook my ass a little." Her sigh this time was almost comical... almost. Though the imagery was kind of hot, I was still in a state of shock

"And then I was all, 'Baby, I missed you and your penis. Won't you come over here and stick it inside me?'"

What is with the singing?

"Then I turned around. And some other girl was standing beside Eric in her panties."

Okay. Well, that's fucked up_._

"So, yeah. That happened. Hence why I need a new apartment and answered the ad you guys put out."

_Right__._

She shook her head after a minute, almost as if to clear it.

"Wait..what was the question?" She sounded legitimately confused.

"Uh, I asked if you had any pets," I responded, trying desperately not to look at her like she was an escaped mental patient.

"Oh! Right. Yeah, no. I don't have any pets." She smiled.

Well, at least she had _one_ thing going for her.

"For what it's worth, I would really love to live here. And I'm desperate. Don't guys dig desperate chicks?" she questioned with a slight twinge of hysteria in her tone.

"Yeah. If you want a dirty hook-up in a bathroom or something," Jasper intoned seriously. "I'm not sure if that carries over to living situations, though." He tilted his head and I knew he was seriously contemplating the issue. I rolled my eyes.

"Look, Bella, right?" I raised my eyebrows in question. She smiled and nodded. "We need a minute to discuss this. Just us guys." I shot a look at Emmett and Jasper and tilted my head towards my bedroom. They followed me without question as Bella looked on like an abandoned puppy.

You know those ASPCA commercials with the big, sad-eyed puppies? They had nothing on Bella's sad face. Nothing.

Check one in the 'This is a really fucking bad idea' column.

I tried to give her a reassuring smile while backing into my bedroom and closing the door.

"No way guys, this is such a bad fucking idea," I immediately said. This couldn't happen. What the hell did they know about living with a chick?

"But, Ed, did you see that look? She needs a home." Emmett looked at the door sadly, like he could still see Bella on the other side, all puppy-faced.

"Oh fuck me," I whispered before hardening my voice. "Dude, she's not a stray."

"She might as well be. She needs a place. We need a roommate. I say we keep her," he finished with a decisive nod. I shook my head incredulously in response. We both turned to look at Jasper, seeing as his vote was the tie-breaker.

"Did you see her tits?" A slow smile spread across his face. "If she lived here, I bet we would get to see them at least once. And hello, if we keep it cold in the apartment? Headlights, baby." He nodded enthusiastically, as if that was the best selling point ever.

"I live with a douchebag," I muttered while face-palming. "Guys, you don't get it. Women change moods like they change their clothes. And don't even get me started on PMS. We can't do this. We can't. She'll suck the souls right out of us." I may have been a little freaked out.

Unlike Emmett and Jasper, I had lived with women. I had a sister. And then there had been those six months with Angela. I knew what I was talking about. This couldn't happen.

"I vote no," I said quietly. "This is a really bad idea." I reiterated, hoping that maybe if I kept saying it, they would finally see reason.

I really should have known better.

"We can't just turn her away, Ed. It's getting cold outside," Emmett said beseechingly.

"She's in," Jasper smiled.

I rubbed the heels of my hands into my eyes roughly, as we all heard a squeal outside my bedroom door. I sucked my teeth as I turned the knob, revealing a bouncing Bella.

"You guys aren't going to regret this," Her smile was mega-watt and I prayed she was right.

…

Within two days, Bella was moved in.

We had decorative throw pillows on our couch.

There was light beer in the fridge.

Tampons. In the bathroom. Need I say more?

If that wasn't enough, I shared a wall with her.

I had never given much thought to what chicks did when going through a break-up before. With guys, it's usually a lot of drinking, football and checking out new chick's asses.

Apparently for women they poured out their emotions through music.

"I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you." I heard a sniffle through the wall and sighed. This had been been going on for a week. All night long the saddest love songs you could think of poured out of her room.

If it didn't stop I would need Prozac, and I wasn't even the one dealing with the heartache.

"I know just how to whisper and I know just how to cry."

Oh. My. God. Kill me now.

"But I don't know how to leave you, and I'll never let you fall. And I don't know how you do it, making love, out of nothing at all." Bella's tremulous voice drifted through the wall and I rolled onto my back and kicked my legs angrily. I didn't care if I looked like a six-year-old throwing a tantrum.

I was tired.

And kind of sad.

Stupid fucking music.

"I can't smile without you. I can't laugh and I can't sing, I'm finding it hard to do anything."

That's right.

Barry. Fucking. Manilow.

"If you only knew what I'm going through. I just can't smile without you."

With a groan I got out of bed and crossed my room with purpose.

I set my jaw and raised my hand. I had to make this stop. I couldn't take it anymore.

…

I woke with a smile on my lips. It was so blissfully quiet. I reveled in it, while stretching languidly. God, I felt so good. I could smell cinnamon wafting in the air and the sun was shining. I felt happy.

After a few more wonderfully peaceful moments, I sighed. Reaching up, I popped the ear-plugs out and sent a silent prayer up that today would be emo-music free.

What? I have a sister. I know better than to fuck with a woman when she's 'in a mood.'

I swung my legs over the side of the bed and scratched my cheek. Again, the smell of cinnamon assaulted my senses and a grumble tore through my stomach. Following my nostrils, I made my way to the kitchen. The sight before me stopped me in my tracks.

Bella stood there. A plate of waffles, stacked at least twelve high on her left and a mountain of muffins on her right. My eyebrows shot up at the amount of food, and briefly, the thought that maybe this wasn't such a terrible arrangement flitted through my mind.

The thought was pushed away quickly when Bella turned, hit a button on her iPod and started singing into her batter-covered spoon.

"When I was young.." she crooned.

Oh, fuck me with a broom.

"I never needed anyone." She sniffled quietly. "And making love was just for fun. Those days are gone."

I debated silently on whether I should just turn and run, or actually try to stop this madness. The choice was made for me when Emmett appeared by my side.

"Dude, I can't fucking take much more of this," he whispered harshly. "I'm going crazy."

"Livin' alone, I think of all the friends I've known," she continued to sing along. "But when I dial the telephone...nobody's home."

"What the hell do you expect me to do about it?" I whisper-yelled back. "I was against this from the start!" I told them this was a bad idea. Serves them right.

"All by myself," Bella belted into her spoon, her back still to us. "Don't wanna be, all by myself, anymore." At least she had a really good voice.

"Oh God, make it stop." Jasper whimpered from behind us. I turned, finding him standing in nothing but his boxer briefs with red-rimmed eyes.

"Dude, are you fucking crying?" I questioned softly, snickering.

"What? It's a really heartbreaking song." Jasper crossed his arms and glared at me.

My God, she was turning us into women.

"I've had enough," Emmett said, "I'm going in." With that he strode into the kitchen, reached around Bella and shut off the iPod.

"Oh!" She jumped, startled. "I didn't realize you were up, Em. I made breakfast." Her voice was soft, and she tucked her chin to her chest.

"Well, how could we sleep with that depressing shit blaring throughout the house?" He was cranky. I couldn't really blame him. I mean, it had been a week of non-stop chick music.

Slowly, she raised her head and looked over her shoulder, finally noticing Jasper and myself.

"Oh God," she whimpered, her little chin trembling. "I'm so sorry. I just thought I could cook you guys breakfast, since it's a Sunday and you've been so nice..." Two big fat tears fell from her eyes and trailed down her cheeks.

Emmett's eyes widened and he looked to me with terror written all over his face, before addressing Bella once again.

"Well fuck, B, I didn't mean to make you cry." This made her cry harder. "Don't do that, please." She hiccuped. "STOP!" he ordered and she took a step back before starting to sob hysterically.

"Emmett!" He looked at me then, very much resembling a deer in headlights. "Dude, just...stop. Let me try." He sighed in relief before scurrying away.

Bella looked up at me, her nose red and her face tear-stained. "I really am sorry," she whispered.

"No, it's okay," I placated her. "Maybe we could just listen to something else?" I smiled crookedly, hoping it would work on her as it did my mom and sister when they'd go all girly on me.

"Like what?" She wiped her nose on her sleeve and I tried not to grimace.

"Well, let's see what we have on this thing," I grabbed the iPod and scrolled through the songs. Not surprisingly, it was all chick music. "Uhh, well..." I stuttered, looking up at Jasper and Emmett, who only shook their heads.

Bastards.

I scrolled and scrolled, until I landed on something that might work. It would be embarrassing as fuck, but it might make her smile. And smiling girls didn't cry. And no crying meant that maybe the music from hell would go back to...well, hell.

"This'll work," I said with a smirk at Bella, and a side-eye look to the guys.

Fuckers better go with it.

"Hey, heyyyyyy, heyyyyyyyy..." I sang along quietly, a little fucking uncomfortable. Bella looked at me in confusion. "Your lipstick stains, on the front lobe of my left side brains..." I smiled. "I knew I wouldn't forget you, and so I went and let you blow my mind." Emmett started nodding his head.

He joined me and Bella's lips twitched a little."Your sweet moon-beam, the smell of you in every single dream I dream. I knew when we collided, you're the one I have decided, who's one of my kind."

"Hey, soul sister! Ain't that mister mister on the radio, stereo? The way you move ain't fair you know!" We all turned to look at Jasper, who stood belting out the lyrics in his underwear. Bella giggled, which meant this shit was working, so we continued singing along to the stupid fucking song. Jasper even through in some little two-step. I knew we were home free when the small giggles turned into out-right guffaws, punctuated by little snorts every now and again.

Once the song ended and I pondered if I still had a dick for knowing every single word of it, Bella wiped the laughter-induced tears off of her cheeks.

"God, I needed that," she laughed. Her smile was bright and kind of pretty. "You boys hungry? I was just getting ready to make some bacon, too."

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad, if we could keep her happy. I mean, a home-cooked breakfast? On a Sunday morning?

"Yeah, I'm fucking starving," I said while Jasper and Emmett murmured their agreements. Bella grinned, before turning to her iPod and shuffling through the tracks. Soon the opening strains of Barenaked Ladies drifted through the speakers. I glanced at the screen and saw that she had chosen her playlist entitled 'Happy'.

Yeah. This could be okay.

* * *

><p><em>Heh. Ha ha?<em>

_Yes? No? Don't be afraid to tell me I suck. Really. I can take it. I think._

_What's your favorite break-up song?_


	2. Chapter Two

_a/n- Super massive thanks to GrayMatters. She beta'd this all quick like for you. She's amazing. Tell her so for me, mkay? She most definitely deserves it._

_Yeah. So...I needed a dose of the funny. Gray said it made her giggle, I hope it does the same for you. _

_All things twilight related belong to Stephenie Meyer. All things New Girl related belong that lot. I own...nothing. I own absolutely nothing. But...I love you guys?_

* * *

><p><em>Whoa, what the hell is that smell?<em>

Living with guys is gross. Like uber gross.

Okay, so yeah, I lived with Eric. But that was for like, two months give or take, and the majority of that time I was traveling or he was traveling and if we were home together…well, let's just say the afterglow must have bled over into our living space as well.

I puffed out my cheeks while I held my breath and continued getting ready.

_God, what crawled up someone's ass and died?_

I was starting to get used to it though. I mean, look at me. I'm in the bathroom, after someone's ass exploded, and I've only gagged twice!

Experimental sniff. _Retch._

Okay, three times.

I can't complain too much though. The guys are nice. They're…sweet. And annoying. But mostly sweet.

Emmett, the poor lug, he has a bit of temper. He'll randomly scream at things and people, which should be terrifying due to his size, but really he's just a big ol' softy. After my bout of depression and subsequent wake-up call from the three of them, he's been my go-to guy. Always asking if I'm okay, but wary of my response. He doesn't do chick emotions well. He brought me ice-cream and girl movies and then offered to help me burn off the calories later.

Get your mind out of the gutter. Jeesh. He's a personal trainer.

Then there's Jasper. Ah, Jasper. He's…well, he's a douche most of the time. In fact, he was the inspiration for the douchebag jar. And it's largest contributor, by far. At last count, we had a hundred and three dollars in there. But really, he's just afraid. He tries to hide it, but I can see it. He was burned pretty badly in college by some bitch named Maria. She had him wrapped around her pinky, worshiping the ground she walked on and then she cast him aside like yesterday's trash. It's sad really, the way he behaves. Trying to keep anyone and everyone at arm's length.

I'm going to work on him.

And finally, there's Edward.

Gah.

Edward.

He's just gorgeous. And incredibly smart. And funny. And sweet. And charming. And…and…and…just…

_Perfect._

Yeah, he's absolutely perfect.

And totally untouchable.

Gah. Oh wait, I already said that. But it bears repeating.

Because you see, apparently Edward has been single, by choice, for over a year. Why, you ask? Well, that would be because his ex, Angela, broke his heart. Oh, she broke it bad. From what I've been able to pull out the guys, they had been dating for almost two years, living together for six months and Edward was ready to propose. But Angela, on the other hand, was ready to move on. With a guy named Ben.

Yeah.

Ouch.

_Poor Edward. _

He's apparently been shut off to the idea of love and romantic nonsense ever since. Emmett says it's because he's waiting for Angela to come back. Jasper agrees. Edward says it's because he doesn't need the stress or headache that comes with it all.

I agree with Emmett and Jasper but I would never, _ever,_ tell Edward that.

With a heavy sigh, and a gentle shake of my head, I finished curling my hair. A swipe of eyeliner here, and a brush of mascara there and I'm good. Ready to face the day.

_Why is my face blue? What are those little dots swimming around my head? Oh. Right._

Deep breath. _Retch __again_.

God, boys are so fucking gross.

….

I spent the majority of my day in a hippie-chic coffee shop, trying and failing to get words down. The last month had been rough on my fragile mind. My stories were about love. Epic, mind-blowing, earth-moving love. My shit with Eric, paired with both Jasper and Edward's painful pasts with the four-lettered word, left me more than a little disillusioned.

How could I write about gentle sighs, sparkling eyes, laughs and lingering touches when I had been hurt so badly by it? When my friends had been hurt so badly by it?

I couldn't.

So I didn't.

I wrote some super smutty fanfiction instead. What? Don't judge me. It's a nice escape from time to time. And the reviews are sweet. They make me feel normal.

_Mental snort._

I packed up my things and made my way back to the apartment. I had my mind set on going to the bar tonight. Edward wasn't working and I could use a night with my boys. Juvenile and stupid as they were, they made me smile when I felt like a loser.

Which was roughly ninety-five percent of the time. Give or take five percent.

Imagine my surprise when I got out of our elevator and heard the first emo-tastic strains of Bryan Adam's "Everything I Do" blaring from our apartment.

"Oh, shit. Oh, shit, shit, shit!" I whispered to myself while racing to the door. My messenger bag banged against my hip as I ran, frantically digging in my pockets for my key. I might have been acting a little dramatically, but my boys didn't listen to emo music. They just didn't.

Finally securing my key and unlocking the door, I came to an immediate halt at the visage before me.

Edward.

Gah.

He way swaying along to the music, belting out the lyrics in his incredibly smooth voice while clutching a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand. A half-empty bottle of Jack Daniels.

"Psst," I heard coming from my left. I turned, wide-eyed, towards the kitchen and saw Emmett and Jasper both standing there with matching grimaces. With one last brief look at Edward's pitiful display, I tip-toed towards the two.

"What the hell?" I whisper-yelled to be heard over the impressively loud singing coming from the living room.

Emmett sighed deeply before shoving an open envelope into my hands. I looked at it warily, before glancing back up into his sad blue eyes.

"Read it," he urged.

On the outside of the envelope, in pretty flowing cursive was Edward's name. With no small amount of trepidation, I opened the heavy envelope.

I was scared. Whatever was contained in this envelope had sent my sweet, charming Edward into an alarming depression. I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

_You are cordially invited to join us in our day of bliss. _

_October 25th at three o'clock, reception immediately following._

_Angela Weber and Ben Cheney._

"Holy fuckballs," I muttered. Was this shit for real?

"Is this shit for real?" I questioned the boys. I was pissed.

I mean, who the fuck does that?

"Yeah, um…" Emmett rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, "we found it when we got home."

I flipped the blasphemous envelope over and noticed the lack of postage.

"She brought it here?" I hissed indignantly. How dare she?

"Stupid bitch," Jasper grumbled while crossing his arms. "He was actually doing better."

"Wait, the 25th? That's two days from now!" God, poor Edward. Poor sweet, charming Edward. My poor boy.

"Yeah. I don't know what Angela was thinking. She never seemed like the type to do something so…cold." Emmett's mumbled words weren't all that shocking to me. He cared deeply for his friends. I knew seeing Edward in this state was killing him.

"Psssht!" Jasper huffed. Yes, huffed. "Bitch knew _exactly _what she was doing." I overlooked his second use of the offensive term, seeing as I currently agreed with the assessment.

"What do you mean, Jazz?" I questioned quietly, my anger dissolving as the music changed to REO Speedwagon. Poor baby. Edward was bad off.

"Oh c'mon, Bella. She doesn't want him to have a date. Hand-delivered invitation, two days before her wedding? It might look like she just didn't know whether to ask him or not, but she's like that. She toyed with him for months after their break-up. Bringing him back into her web, just enough to feel wanted and then pushing him away when things got too close to real. She likes the power. She likes knowing that she's in charge of his heart." Jasper's glower was so full of hate that I dropped the invitation he was staring at, afraid it might just burst into flames.

"She wants to see him suffering at her wedding?" I whispered, feeling my heart break just a little more for the pain Edward must be in.

My two boys just nodded, one wearing a glum expression and the other's so angry it scared me a little.

I felt it churning in my stomach. That ugly emotion that makes your ears feel hot and your breath all choppy? Yeah, that one. I balled my hands into fists and clenched my jaw.

No. No way.

I refused to let this happen. I might not be beautiful and sophisticated. Hell, I knew I was a geek. I had a healthy obsession with Harry Potter and The Lord of the Rings. I preferred reading fanfiction to real novels and sometimes wished I could just write the stuff instead of my 'real' stories. I was awkward and kind of flighty. But I loved my friends. I loved them fiercely.

Much like Gollum and his precious.

And in this instance, Edward was _my_ precious.

"Fuck that. He'll have a date and we'll show this bitch a thing or two," I stated succinctly. Jasper and Emmett exchanged a fearful glance before looking back to me. "Oh come with me, my dears. Let momma tell you all about it."

…

Emmett and Jasper thought my plan was genius. Edward….not so much. It took a little wheedling. He had been steadfastly against going to the wedding, he said it didn't interest him and that he didn't need to be there. I could see the hurt in his green eyes though, he wasn't fooling me. He didn't want to have to see it. He didn't think he could handle it.

We didn't mention the drunken emotional stupor.

After Emmett pointed out that not attending would seem cowardly , and Jasper chimed in saying that was exactly what Angela was hoping for, Edward had hesitantly agreed.

Edward really didn't like the idea of looking like a pussy. He said so. About a hundred times.

So we started preparing. For what, you ask?

Edward and I were going to be the perfect couple.

Oh, yeah. Bitch was going down.

_Mental eyebrow wiggle here. _

_And mental facepalm here._

My boys were rubbing off on me too much.

So we spent all of Friday evening becoming _that_ couple. You know what I'm talking about. The couple you look at when you're single and want to simultaneously vomit and sob, because they're just _that_ good together. Yep. I even let Edward choose who we would base our coupledom off of.

Noah and Allie, Jack and Rose or Ron and Hermione.

He looked at me like I was insane. I made him watch the movies.

I'll deny it with my very last breath, but it was kind of amazing, sitting next to him and watching those aforementioned couples fall in love. I might have thought I died when he put his arm around me and whispered certain lines in my ear.

"_If you're a bird, then I'm a bird."_

Swoon.

"_If you jump, I jump, remember?"_

Gah. Huminah. Unf.

"_It flew towards me, the ball of light, right through my chest and straight through me. Right here," _Edward even stopped and pointed to his chest, "_ and I knew it was going to take me where I needed to go."_

British accent. Holy. Shitballs.

Goo. I was pure goo.

In the end, I asked him again which couple we would be. He just shrugged and said the sweetest thing ever.

"Edward and Bella. We'll be Edward and Bella."

That boy was going to kill me.

…

The day of the wedding I was a bundle of nerves. What the hell had I been thinking? There was no way I could pull this off and then I'd let Edward down and he'd feel like a fool and it would be all my fault. So I stared at my wide-eyed reflection in the bathroom mirror for several minutes, thankfully the ass stank was missing this time, before dialing my best girl. She'd help me. She'd make me look the part and I would just have to make sure I played it.

Not very long after my fashion SOS, Alice sashayed into the bathroom like she owned the place.

"Let's get cracking, baby girl. I only have thirty minutes."

…

I wish I had a camera to capture the boys reaction to my makeover. Alice was a model, no lie, and she had closets full of clothes that most women would die for. Add in her expertise of all things make-up and hair and I looked quite nice. Of course, they did as well in their dark suits.

"Holyfuckingshit! You look smoking, Bella!" Jasper exclaimed while his eyes nearly bugged out of his head.

I smiled, feeling a little shy and smoothed my dress down self-consciously. Alice had put me in an emerald, floor-length, one-shouldered silk dress. There was also a slit that came up to right _there_. Add in a pair of shiny, strappy, fuck-me-right-here stilettos, dramatic smoky eye make-up and crazy 'I've just been sexed-up' curls and I looked like a completely different person.

"Damn," Emmett whispered. "You're not playing around, huh Bells?"

Again, I just shrugged before worrying my hands.

"Is it too much?" I wondered aloud.

"No." The whispered response came from behind me and I turned to see Edward standing in a well-fitting black suit, a silky emerald tie in his hands. I smiled bashfully and made my way over to him before taking it away from him, raising my eyebrow in question. "Alice," he supplied with his own shy grin.

"I figured," I whispered before looping the tie around his neck and securing into a proper Windsor knot. I smoothed it down gently, before taking a deep breath and looking up into his mesmerizing green eyes. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be," he murmured while reaching up and placing his hands over my own. "Thank you for this, Bella."

"Thank me later, when we've actually pulled it off, okay?" I smiled.

A throat clearing snapped my attention back to the other guys in the room, both of whom were staring at Edward and I with odd expressions.

"Ya know, I don't think they'll have that much trouble, do you Jazz?" Emmett elbowed him in the ribs and Jasper just snorted while shaking his head in the negative. I looked back to Edward who just smiled and shrugged, before offering me his arm. I took it with a happy smile as we all made our way out of the apartment.

…

The wedding was lovely.

Oh who the hell am I kidding? I couldn't do that to Edward. The bride wouldn't have eyes for anyone but the groom and it served no purpose, so we skipped that clusterfuck and showed up at the reception.

All part of the master plan, no worries.

Edward and I sat closely together and I watched his eyes dart in every direction.

"Relax," I murmured.

"Maybe this wasn't the best idea." He ran a hand through his disheveled hair and I cupped his cheek softly, to bring his frantic gaze to my own.

"Take a deep breath, Edward. I'm going to go get us some champagne. We'll make it through this, okay?" I told him gently. Edward had been anxious ever since Angela had spotted us. She had cocked a disbelieving brow in his direction before her attention had been pulled away by some other well-wisher.

"Yeah. Yes. Okay," Edward mumbled. I stroked his cheek softly, I'm sure he thought I was just keeping up appearances, but really I had recently discovered that I enjoyed touching him.

I stood and made my way through the throng of guests, thanking every higher power I could that Angela and Ben had the decency to offer an open bar. I stood off to the side while waiting for one of the bartenders to notice me. It didn't surprise me that it took them so long, what with several women basically throwing themselves at them to get their drink first. After ten minutes and several annoying women later, I had our champagne. Again, I had to fight my way through the crowd to get back to our table. Halfway there, I ran into Emmett.

"Where the hell did you go?" he nearly screamed. See? Temper, temper.

I blinked slowly, while raising the glasses.

"Shit! Get over there. Angela has him cornered," Emmett whispered while gently pushing me in Edward's direction. I'm pretty sure my heart dropped into my stomach and I may or may not have elbowed several assholes to get them out of my way. I stilled several feet away from Edward and Angela, wanting to calm myself before making a grand entrance and what I overheard made me nauseous.

"Who is she, Edward?" Angela murmured almost sadly. "I thought we were closer than that and that if you had someone special in your life….well, I thought you'd tell me."

Edward actually looked guilty.

"Bella. Her names is Bella," he sort of mumbled his response to his hands. Where the hell was this whore's husband?

"That's a pretty name," she said grudgingly. "And is she? Someone special, I mean." Her tone took on that sad quality again, and by the look on Edward's face when he glanced up, her expression mirrored it. He gaped at her like a fish for a couple seconds and swallowed nervously.

No, really. I could see his Adam's apple bob from where I stood. My poor Edward, locked in the vindictive bitch's sights. Well, fuck that. I shook my head to fluff my curls, straightened my spine and made my way over to them. I refused to let Edward down when he needed me.

I might have added a little more sway to my hips than normal. I may have smiled demurely when Edward noticed my approach. I very well could have, not so gently, bumped into Angela as I passed her. And I might have, just maybe, kissed Edward's oh-so-kissable lips, before handing him his drink.

"Sorry I was gone so long, baby. The line was terrible," I murmured against his cheek, loud enough for Angela to hear. "Did you miss me?" I asked with my sweetest smile.

The answering sparkle in Edward's eyes and the quick upturn of his lips made me feel like the queen of the world.

…

My head was pounding and I was just a smidge too warm. Which was odd, because I keep my room really cold. Like, nearly freezing.

What? I like to be cold when I go to sleep.

Also, there was something heavy draped across my stomach.

Heavy, yet comforting.

I scrunched my forehead and pursed my lips as flashes from the night before assaulted me.

Drinking.

Lots of drinking.

Dancing.

Several not-so-innocent touches.

More drinking.

Kissing.

Lots of kissing.

A little more drinking.

Stumbling out of the reception.

Laughing and groping in the elevator.

Banging against the walls.

Nibbling, biting and sucking on skin.

Panting, moaning and screaming a certain name while in the throes of passion.

Holy shitfuck.

I slept with Edward last night.

* * *

><p><em>*giggles madly*<em>

_Am I mean? No worries, I'm under strict orders from my beta extraordinaire to give vivid details of their night in the next installment. _

_And please be patient with me. I'm not only writing this, but SFttR and the Twilight Twenty Five, so my time and attention is severely divided. _

_Thanks for reading._

_xo-_

_OBL_


	3. Chapter Three

_A/N - As per usual, many thanks to the wonderful and oh so amazing, GrayMatters! She slays my evil overuse of commas like a warrior princess in shiny armor. (Can anyone say "Why hello there sexy-ass KStew as Snow White?" I'm sure you can, but the visual? Schwing.) In all seriousness, I love Gray. She's an amazing beta and an even more wonderful friend. Check out her new story 'Til I Said it to You. It's amazeballs, just like her._

_Sadly, I must tell you that I still do not own Twilight or any of the characters or quotes that are referenced in the chapter below. Stephenie Meyer is being a stingy little brat about those copyrights. Obviously someone didn't watch the Carebears when she was growing up. Caring is sharing, Stephenie. Caring. Is. Sharing. _

_Anyway, onward and shit. God, I'm so embarrassed about what I'm about to say. Lemon warning, people! If you aren't old enough to buy a pack of smokes or vote, for the love of God, hit the 'x' at the top of the screen and go watch iCarly or something. This shit isn't for you. _

_But I bet you're cute and I totally love your hair. =)_

* * *

><p>To say that I had been surprised by Angela stopping by our apartment would have been a gross understatement. I was shocked and a little wary when I opened the door to her seemingly hesitant face, but the manners my mother rammed into my brain won out over everything else and I had invited her in.<p>

God, I should have just slammed the fucking door in her face.

We made the usual small talk, you know the_ how_ _have __you __been__'__s_ and the _can__'__t __complain__'__s. _Angela had seemed almost nervous, which was weird; she was usually so confident. For a brief moment, just a _tiny_ second, I thought she might have changed her mind about us. What surprised me though, was that I didn't want that. I didn't want to play her games anymore.

I wanted something else. Or rather _someone_ else.

And that scared the ever-loving fuck out of me.

So when she handed me the invitation, I wasn't all that upset. I mean, yeah, it kind of sucked. And it was most definitely a shitty thing to do, but I was still in the middle of my epiphany and hardly had the energy to expend upon Angela's stupid games.

I'm sure she thought my rapidly paling face had to do with her upcoming nuptials, and from the self-satisfactory smirk she was trying to hide, I knew she was pleased with that idea.

Angela couldn't have been more wrong.

It had everything to do with the strange and stimulating woman that had taken up residence in our apartment and in my mind for the past month.

Bella.

_Jesus._

She was such an enigma, but it the good way. She wasn't like the majority of women I knew. She preferred to wear sweats and converse to designer jeans and heels. She loved Harry Potter and even had her own wand.

Yeah. I'm not lying. Bella chased all of us around the apartment Avada Kedavra-ing our asses a couple weeks ago. I'm convinced that was her way of dealing with PMS. She apologized to me later, stating that I looked too much like someone named Cedric and then promptly broke down in tears. No little sniffles either, I mean full on wails punctuated by miserable little hiccups.

"_Poor Cedric."_

" _My poor boy."_

"_You live on in our hearts, Diggory."_

Yeah, I had been confused. She made me watch the movie. And yeah, I could see a little bit of a resemblance. But I've gotten myself off track.

I had feelings for Bella. _Bella._

The woman who breaks into random song and has no filter. None. Bella constantly mutters to herself. No lie. Most of the time it's too soft to hear, but I've caught my name and 'gah' several times. I'm still not sure exactly _what _she means by it, but it's funny…and _cute._

Angela assured me over and over that I didn't have to come if made me uncomfortable, that she understood if it was too much.

Yeah. No. I could give a fuck less about it all, really. Angela was happy, or at least as happy as she could be, and I was actually happy for her.

I was freaking out about Bella. How the fuck had I let myself catch feelings for _her_? Such a bad idea. We lived together for fuck's sake. We were roommates; friends. I didn't want to fuck that up. Bella was awesome to hang with. She drank beer and liked our stupid video games. She cooked us breakfast on Sundays and always made extra helpings of dinner when one of us was working late. Bella was sweet and caring and thoughtful…and…

_Perfect._

Yeah, that.

And it fucking terrified me.

…

_Where is it? I know it's here somewhere. _

"So, let me get this straight," Jasper said while eyeing me warily. "Angela came by and dropped off an invitation to her wedding?"

"Yep," I nodded before taking another long swig of whiskey, continuing to scroll through my iPod.

"And you said you'd go?" he questioned with a cocked brow.

_Where the fuck is it?_

"And you're okay?" Jasper concludedin a disbelieving tone and swept his hands up and down the length of me, as if asking _'__really?__'_

"I _am_ okay," I stressed. _Ah! __There __it __is._I pressed play and sighed. "Well, I'm okay about the whole Angela mess…" but he had disappeared.

Oh, well.

Bryan Adams is a _boss_.

…

This was a bad idea.

Scratch that, a _really __fucking_ bad idea.

But Bella looked so cute pleading with me, begging me to agree.

Who was I to tell her that she had it all wrong and that I wasn't upset over Angela's wedding, but about my burgeoning feelings for her?

What? Don't judge me.

So I agreed. And we spent Friday becoming 'the perfect couple' as Bella called it. I didn't tell her that I thought she was pretty perfect the way she was. But it did give me the chance to sort of cuddle with her on the couch while watching stupid romantic movies.

Only…they weren't so stupid with Bella by my side.

What? I'm not a pussy.

I'm _not _a pussy.

…

I wasn't all that nervous the morning of the wedding. Bella explained before that we wouldn't be attending the actual wedding, which I guess made sense. She thought I was all torn up about Angela pledging her life and undying affection to some other dude and wanted to spare me from witnessing it. It was actually kind of sweet.

It probably was a good thing, I mean, I don't have a vagina or anything but it might be kind of hard to watch two people making the ultimate promise of love with Bella by my side and not be affected. I mean, it's not like I want to marry the girl. Not yet anyway.

_Not yet?_

Jesus Christ on a cracker, what the fuck was wrong with me?

I dug my best suit out the closet, knowing full well that I needed to look the part today. Bella was going out of her way to put Angela in her place and I really had no problem with that. Had Bella not been here, there was a good chance that Angela's little stunt would have crushed me. Or at least my ego. I couldn't remember what made me fall for that girl. I had to believe she hadn't always been so conniving.

After putting on the slacks and dress shirt, a loud knock preceded Alice's entrance. I blinked in surprise at her and she held up a dark green tie in response; however her words took me by surprise.

"You better not fucking hurt her," she spoke forcefully, leveling me with an ice cold glare from her sky blue eyes.

"Wha – What the hell are you talking about?" I stuttered. Yeah, I fucking stuttered. Way to play it cool, Cullen.

"Don't give me any of that shit, Edward. I've seen how you look at her and I know _her._The way she talks about you?" Alice shook her head with a sigh. "She's been through enough in the last month and if you hurt her? I will break into this apartment ninja style and cut off your boys while you sleep, you feel me?" At my gulp and fearful nod she smirked, "Good. You two have fun tonight!"

I think I stared after her for a solid minute before I turned and finished getting ready.

Have I already said what a bad idea this was? Yeah? Well, it just got a whole lot worse.

…

Bella was fucking stunning. There's really no other way to say it. She's beautiful in sweats, a sloppy bun and her little librarian-esque glasses but in that dress, with those heels and that hair?

_Jesus._

I would have no problem acting like I was totally enamored of her. I truly was.

When we made our way into the reception, I kept Bella firmly by my side. Men were already looking her up and down like she was something to devour and it kind of made my blood boil. I mean, hello? Do you not see that she's on my arm? Back the fuck up, dude. Jeesh.

Angela noticed our arrival, of course. What caught me off guard was the way she looked Bella up and down. I caught the subtle tightening of her features and the angry grimace she cast in my direction with an arched brow. I paused, not exactly sure what the fuck that was about. I mean, dude, didn't she just marry some guy? Why should my bringing a date to her wedding soiree cause any strife?

"Don't pay her any attention, Edward," Bella whispered in my ear. "She's just jealous."

I nodded and her smile lit up the whole room. No lie. It was all sweet and pretty and shit. So I followed her sort of dumbly towards a table, in my Bella-smile stupor. Jasper wasted no time, declaring he was going to go find some sad bridesmaid tail, at which Bella shook her head. She looked a little sad as she watched him make his way through the crowd.

"What's that look about, B?" I murmured into her ear. What? I was keeping up appearances.

_Yeah. Keep telling yourself that, asshole._

Shut up.

"I just hate that he feels like he has to act like that. All big and badass and douche-bag like. He's not like that at all," she turned her sad brown eyes on me and it kind of made my chest hurt a little.

"Yeah," I muttered while running a hand through my hair. "Who knows? Maybe his bridesmaid will end up being the girl who changes his mind." I had no doubts that wouldn't be the case. Jasper was completely against the idea of love and romantic involvement thanks to Maria and her shit, but I couldn't stand that sad look on Bella's face.

"Maybe," she murmured with a small smile. Bella didn't believe it either, but I guess it was the thought that counted.

We took our seats and Emmett sort of hovered around us showcasing his wariness. He had always been uncomfortable with large social settings, stating that they put him on edge. It wouldn't surprise me if he didn't flip out on at least one or two guests by the end of the evening. Emmett's a crazy bastard.

Angela's watchful eyes had me on edge. It seemed like she always had one eye on Bella and me, while she made her rounds with the guests. I couldn't discern the meaning behind her looks. Sometimes her gaze looked thoughtful and sometimes it seemed outright hostile. Bella seemed clueless to it all and I preferred it that way. I didn't want her to get caught up in one of Angela's little games; she was too good for that shit.

And _again_, didn't Angela just pledge her undying devotion to another dude? I was seriously starting to feel for the fucker.

I guess I didn't hide my unease all that well though, because Bella told me I needed to relax. It wasn't all that hard to do once she cupped my cheek with her palm and stared into my eyes. I couldn't be sure, but I thought I saw some real tenderness in her gaze as she stroked my face. I didn't want to let her out of my sight but figured that would look a little douchey, so I acquiesced when she offered to get us some drinks.

I don't think she made it more than three feet from me before Angela pounced.

Seriously, what the hell had I ever seen in her?

"Edward," Angela cooed. Yes, cooed. It was fucking creepy. "I didn't know you'd be bringing a date." She pushed her bottom lip out in an overly exaggerated pout. I wasn't sure why, I mean, yeah, I had been single for over a year, but she just got married. Who the fuck cared if I had a date?

"Yeah, well you know," I offered with a shrug instead.

"She seems…_nice_," Angela pushed. I didn't like the way she said it, her tone borderline disgusted. Bella _was_ nice. A hell of a lot nicer than Angela, that's for sure.

"She really is," I said softly, not making eye contact. I hated the way she was looking at me, almost as if I had done something wrong.

"Why didn't you tell me about her the other day? Were you keeping her a secret or something?" I just looked at her, kind of stupefied. "Who is she, Edward? I thought we were closer than that and if you had someone special in your life…well, I thought you'd tell me." The puppy dog impression Angela sent my way had no effect on me, but her words did strike a guilty chord within me. I did think Bella was someone special, but I hadn't told her that. In fact, I hadn't told her anything. Instead I let her believe that I still had feelings for my ex and paraded her around said ex's wedding like an arm decoration.

"Bella. Her name is Bella," I mumbled my response while looking down at my hands. I didn't feel so good all of a sudden and I really wished Angela would go the fuck away.

"That's a pretty name," Angela muttered, her tone bordering on angry. She changed tunes quickly, murmuring at me in a sad voice. "And is she? Someone special, I mean." I looked up at her, a little shocked by her blatant attempt at guilt. Who the fuck was she trying to fool? Angela couldn't care less about me, I knew that much. Her only interest in this situation was whether another woman had taken hold of my heart and therefore nullified her power over me.

But her question struck that chord again. Yes, Bella was someone special. And not just in the 'whoa that chick is crazy' way. Bella was real and honest. She cared about people. She cared about _me_. So I sat there, opening and closing my mouth like a fish out of water. I didn't want to talk to Angela about this. She certainly didn't deserve to be the first to know, that's for sure.

Bella did. I just had to figure out how to be man enough to tell her.

Of course, she chose that moment to reappear as well. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing when she blatantly hip-checked Angela, while making her way to me. If looks could kill, Bella would have been six feet under from Angela's icy glare, but she paid her no mind. Her attention was focused solely on me and some small part of me relished in it. I couldn't keep my eyes from following the swing of her hips and the smile she gave me was downright sinful.

I may have had to shift in my seat a little to hide the response my body had to her.

But the kiss she placed on my lips, once she made it to my side, did me in. I was a goner. I had died and gone to Bella's Lips Heaven. They were _so_ fucking soft and slightly sweet and oh so amazing. I wanted nothing more in that moment than to keep her right there, attached to my lips, until the end of time.

Sadly, Bella did not know of this plan and pulled away. I pouted a little on the inside.

"Sorry I was gone so long, baby," Bella cooed and it was positively enchanting when she did it, unlike Angela's creepy tone. "The line was terrible. Did you miss me?" Her luminous brown eyes sparkled with playfulness and the sweet smile that played on her lips had me entranced.

"I really did," I mumbled, still in a daze. I knew I probably resembled a pussy-whipped motherfucker, but I didn't care. She was just _so_…

_Perfect_.

Yeah, that just about sums it up.

"Oh, you must be Angela. You look beautiful," Bella commented sweetly. Her expression mirrored her tone, there was no hidden malice or agenda on her part. She was being genuine. Bella didn't play the mean girl game that Angela was so well-versed in.

"Oh, um…thank you," Angela's confusion was almost comical. "You must be Bella, Edward and I were just _talking_ about you," she recovered quickly, her tone insinuating that we might not have been saying _nice_ things.

Bella's eyes tightened just a fraction, I'm not even sure anyone besides myself would have noticed, but she held firm to her amiable expression. Bella took her seat beside me, immediately curling into my side when I placed my arm around her.

"Oh dear, was he bragging on me again?" She shook her head at me playfully before continuing, "I swear I can't take this one anywhere." She motioned to me with her thumb, turning her teasing gaze on Angela and even the frigid bitch cracked a miniscule smile, before schooling her features.

"Yeah, he tends to get a little overly enthusiastic in the beginning of relationships," she changed her approach. I guess she felt since wasn't making much headway with insinuating that Bella was lacking, she should attack me instead.

It hurt a little. My pride felt the jab. _Not_ cool.

Bella's response was immediate. I watched as her features hardened and her eyes narrowed into slits and I'm not going to lie, it was pretty fucking scary. Bella looked murderous.

"I appreciate his enthusiasm, _Angela_," Bella spat her name like a curse. "In fact, I'm as equally enthusiastic about my relationship with him," she curled her fingers around my side protectively and maybe even a touch possessively. "Edward is amazing and I feel sorry for the girls that let him get away. They obviously had some sort of mental deficiency, but I can't say I'm not happy about their oversight," she turned back to me and smiled while running her thumb across my lower lip tenderly. "How could I be, when I got him in return?" Her question was aimed at the girl standing a few feet away from us, but I'm pretty sure she didn't give a fuck less about her response. I know I didn't. I was happily lost in Bella's eyes.

"Dance with me?" I murmured before placing a soft kiss against her thumb.

Bella smiled before taking a long pull of her champagne.

"I thought you'd never ask."

…

One dance turned into two and two turned into ten. I really couldn't help myself, touching Bella - _holding_ Bella - was addictive. I craved more, much like a heroin addict looking for his next fix. Granted, the copious amounts of alcohol being pushed at us by Emmett and the wait staff probably didn't help matters any. My mother always told me not to lie, so I won't. I indulged myself a little and by the look of it, so did Bella. But I felt like celebrating. Bella had successfully put Angela in her place, and pretty much stolen my heart in the process. It felt good. It felt _right_.

And I was happy.

So why the hell _shouldn__'__t_ I indulge a little? And _why __not_ celebrate Bella's victory? At least that's what I told myself. Not to mention, the more we drankthe more she seemed to get closer, hold on to me tighter and _God_, the way she would smile. I was smitten. Deeply smitten.

During yet another slow, romantic tune, I couldn't help but place a soft open-mouthed kiss to her bare shoulder. Bella sighed and it sounded happy if not a little wistful.

"I didn't know you were such a talented actress, B." I murmured while nuzzling her neck. She smelled _so __good_.

Bella giggled as I pulled away and blushed a pretty shade of pink. She fucking blushed, I'm not kidding. I didn't even know girls could do that anymore.

"Well, it's easy because…" but then she sort of gasped before biting her lip and turning her head away. I wasn't having any of that shit. I wanted to know why it was so easy for her to fake it with me. Had I been too transparent with my own feelings? Had she already figured me out?

I mean, I planned on telling her, but on my own and not with the clusterfuck of Angela's wedding and all that shit hanging over our heads.

So I cupped her cheek and pulled her face back to my own.

"Because why?" I whispered while searching her eyes for the answer. If it was possible, she blushed a darker shade of pink and smiled bashfully.

"Because I'm not acting," she returned just as quietly. "You're kind of, well, you're sort of amazing, Edward."

And I kissed her, because how the hell could I _not_?

Just like with the dancing, one kiss led to two, two lead to who the hell knew how many. But it's not like I minded. If I thought holding Bella was addictive, I didn't know what to call kissing her. I tried to stop myself a couple of times, I mean, we were at my ex's wedding reception and it might seem a little rude to basically maul each other on the dance floor. But her lips were so soft and they sort of glistened from our kisses and the lighting and I just couldn't stay away.

So, I didn't.

I don't know how long we spent dancing-slash-making-out like teenagers, but I wouldn't have traded a minute of it for anything. I learned that Bella would giggle if I flexed my fingers on her sides and she'd sigh softly if I kissed the hollow beneath her ear. She liked being spun, but if I dipped her she would gaze into my eyes with the most enchanting expression, like she was as lost in the moment as I was. She would gasp when I pulled her back to my chest and then melt into my arms.

It was kind of amazing.

But when she kissed my neck and murmured something along the lines of, _"__Take __me __home, __Edward.__"_ I was lost.

I didn't think, I simply responded. I pulled her out of the reception as quickly as I could, laughing along with her at my enthusiasm. I paid no mind to the cab driver as we traded deep kisses and gentle caresses. I couldn't get close enough in the elevator and I felt worried, for just a moment, when I picked her up and she wrapped her legs around my waist and her head bounced against the wall. _Hard._

"Shit, are you okay?" I mumbled against her lips.

"Fine. I'm fine. Don't stop," she panted a little breathlessly into my mouth.

So, I didn't.

We fumbled our way through the dark apartment to my bedroom before falling into a tangled heap on my bed. I chuckled along with her as she pulled me back to her mouth by my tie. I placed wet, heated kisses against the column of her neck while she rid me of my jacket and shirt. I groaned, probably way too loudly, when she ran her nails down the bare skin of my back.

Bella whimpered when I pulled away, until I brought her with me to unzip her dress. She helped me take it off and wriggled self-consciously while I stared at her lingerie-clad body.

"Alice," she whispered while sweeping a hand along her length, showcasing the damn-near indecent lacy unmentionables she wore.

"Remind me to thank her later," I said seriously, before sucking a lace-covered nipple into my mouth.

We were both gone then, lost in a haze of desire. She arched into my mouth while pawing at my dress pants and I lifted my hips to give her better access. I couldn't help but moan into her breast when she wrapped her legs around my hips and pushed the offending garment off with her feet. It allowed me to fall flush against her in the cradle of her hips, my straining bulge nestled against her wet heat. I rocked against her mindlessly, my cock taking charge of the situation and relishing in the answering moan she gave.

No longer happy with the fabric that separated her breasts from my overheated skin, I pulled her up against my chest, bracing her with one arm as my free hand undid the closure of her strapless bra. I couldn't resist placing several wet kisses along the open expanse of her collarbone. Bella's breathy gasps and gentle undulations against my cock drove me a little insane. I wanted her. _God,_ how I wanted her.

But I wasn't a douche just out to get his dick wet and Bella wasn't just a random hook-up. So with much protesting from my aching groin, I pulled away.

"Bella, baby," I gave in for a brief moment and kissed her swollen lips. "We don't have to do this. We can stop." Jesus, it pained me to say the words, but I meant it. I didn't want just a one night thing with Bella. I wanted _more_.

"Don't stop. Fuck, don't you dare stop." She pulled me down by my shoulders before running her hands down my sides, coming to rest on my ass, "I want this. I want you."

With that she rolled us over before smiling down at me. I watched her every movement, unable and not willing to look away. I was certain that she had bewitched me somehow. Bella sat back on her heels and gently tugged my underwear down my legs. I'm pretty sure I nearly lost my shit when she bent and placed a soft kiss on the swollen head of my cock. I know I saw stars as she ran her tongue down the underside of my length and I may have considered taking her to Vegas and declaring my never-ending devotion when she took me entirely into her mouth.

I was completely lost to sensation while Bella lavished my dick with her tongue, lips and teeth. I fisted my sheets when the urge to shove my hands into her hair became too strong. I didn't want her to think I was some sort of animal. Still, I had a hard time not thrusting into her mouth and I was quickly careening towards coming. I must have whimpered or done something to alert her to my distress because she released me with a small pop and raised herself onto her knees.

My hands seemed to have a mind of their own as she shimmied herself out of the scrap of lace masquerading as underwear. I ran them over her stomach, I cupped her breasts and rolled her nipples before trailing up and over her shoulders and into her hair pulling her mouth to my own. My breath caught at the first touch of her wet flesh against my cock. I had seen the pink disc in the bathroom, but still felt the need to ask.

"Are you sure?" I whispered against her lips and she lowered herself onto me in answer.

Enough fucking said. Or not said, in this case.

My hands found purchase on her hips after she straightened and threw her head back. I helped guide her over me while relishing in her low moans.

"Edward, Edward, Edward…" I don't give a fuck who you are, there is nothing more sexy than your name falling from a woman's lips like a breathy little prayer. It felt like she was too far away from me, so I sat up winding my arms around her waist as she continued rolling her hips against me.

"_Jesus_, Bella," I groaned into the damp flesh between her shoulder and neck. I was incapable of any further words and settled for moaning against her skin.

"Oh, God. Oh, _God__…__Edward_," she sort of whimpered as I brought my thumb down to massage her clit.

"I can't, Bella. I'm too close. Too close," I whispered before biting down on her shoulder. I meant it to be a gentle nip, but might have been rougher than intended because Bella cried out sharply. I could feel her orgasm start, her pussy clenching around me as her rhythm faltered.

I took over, moving her over my shaft as I thrust up into her forcefully. Bella grabbed my face and kissed me deeply, sliding her tongue against my own as she came. I swallowed her moans and whimpers while my own orgasm battled its way up against my will. With one deep and final thrust I came, calling Bella's name as I shook from the force of it.

I held Bella to my chest for several moments, trying to catch my breath and unwilling to let her go. She pressed a gentle kiss against my shoulder before resting her head against in and sighing.

"Sleepy, baby?" I whispered while laying back and bringing Bella with me. Her brown eyes blinked up at me owlishly as a slow smile spread across her lips. "I'll take that as a yes," I chuckled rolling us onto our sides. We both made unhappy noises when I slipped from her but I placed a kiss on her forehead, telling her I'd be right back.

I couldn't imagine sleeping with spunk between my legs and wanted to get her something to clean up with. I raced into the bathroom and grabbed a hand towel before making my way back to Bella. She was already half asleep, her hair fanned across my pillows like a crazy halo. I couldn't help but smile at the soft snore that fell from her lips and crawled back into bed, taking care of her before I pulled her back into my arms and falling asleep myself.

I slept peacefully. No seriously, I slept like the motherfucking dead, wrapped around Bella's warm body. So imagine my surprise when my next coherent moment included hearing Bella gasp.

"Holy shitfuck, I slept with Edward last night."

That couldn't be a good sign.

I opened my eyes just as Bella sat up straight and looked over her shoulder at me.

"Bella?" I questioned warily. "Are you okay?"

She swallowed while her eyes bounced around my room nervously, almost like a caged animal's would. I placed my hand against the bare skin of her back, trying to calm her and she startled before jumping out of the bed taking the sheet with her and wrapping it around herself.

"Oh, hey, no. Yeah, I'm fine.. You had a really rough night last night and things got carried away and...yeah, I'll shut up now. But it's cool. We're cool. No worries." Bella kept her eyes adverted while grabbing her things off of the floor. My head was spinning and I couldn't find the words I needed.

No, really. I just sat there gaping like a fish as Bella ran around my room grabbing her haphazardly discarded clothing. She made her way to the door, before she looked back at me again.

"I'm sorry, Edward," she whispered with a sheepish look and a bright blush painting her cheeks. "Really. I shouldn't have taken advantage….uh, shit. Sorry."

And with that, she ran from the room and I was left staring after her. It was only then that I realized I never told her the truth of what I felt and now she felt like she'd seduced me while I was in a fragile state. I dropped my chin to my chest and groaned.

_Fuck my life._

Yeah, I couldn't have said it better myself.

* * *

><p><em>Argh!<em>

_Don't mind me, I'm just dying from embarrassment. Do you know how hard it was for me _(*snort* TWSS.) _to write the words 'cock' and 'pussy?' No lie, I cringed each time. _

_Master of the Lemon, I most assuredly am not._

_Uh...review and tell me if I need to take a header off the nearest tall building? Kthx._

_xo -_

_OBL_


	4. Chapter Four

_A/N - My everlasting love and endless thanks goes to GrayMatters. I swear, if it wasn't for her, I'd probably be rocking in a corner somewhere thanks to this month from hell. _

_So, yeah. Apparently ya'll liked the lemon. That's cool. I can't say I enjoy writing them yet...but maybe, just maybe this story will help me get over my embarrassment. Or who knows? Maybe the next lemon I write will read something like this: Edward diddled my hoo-hoo until I came. The end._

_I talked to Stephenie Meyer. Yep, she's one of my bestie's. We text all the time. I asked her if I could have the rights to Twilight and the bitch said no. We haven't spoken in days. I'm not giving up. One day she'll relent and then I can officially own Edward's ass. _

_Can you say nom? Om nom nom._

* * *

><p>Oh my God.<p>

Oh my _God._

I slept with Edward.

Edward's cee-oh-cee-kay had been in my vagjayay. But oh! What a pretty peen that boy has. All hard, pink, smooth skin. Unf. No, no I couldn't think like that. I couldn't let myself entertain fantasies about the pretty man who had an even prettier penis.

Fuck my life. Or ya know _fuck me_, since I'm such a whore.

I couldn't look at him. I couldn't even articulate a normal, rational response to him. I just stuttered my way through variations of I'm okay. I very nearly pulled a Buckwheat.

_I'm o-o-o-tay. Wink and smile._

Thankfully, common sense made sure that I didn't make an _even_ bigger ass out of myself.

Jesus, what had I been thinking last night? I mean, yeah, okay, I drank a lot. Like, _a_ _lot_. And sure, I was a little drunk. My inhibitions were down.

And p.s., have you seen Edward Cullen?

Jesus, Mary and Joseph. That boy is a wet dream come true. And boy did that wet dream come true. And so did I. Come that is. Again and again. _Gah._

But that was beside the point. I took advantage of him. The poor guy was dealing with enough emotional baggage to break Atlas's shoulders and I snuck in all ninja-like and seduced him.

I couldn't get out of his bed or his room fast enough. I felt so fucking bad. I offered a piss-poor apology and ran like the hounds of hell were chasing me. Obviously I hadn't thought things through very well, seeing as my room was right next to Edward's and there were very few options in avoiding him.

Yeah. I'm a fucking idiot.

So, I slapped my 'You shall not pass' door-knocker on the knob, locked the door and buried myself under the covers.

The childhood mentality had officially taken over.

_If he can't see me, then I'm safe. I'm invisible. It's like I never existed. If I never existed then I didn't sleep with him last night and everything is once again right with the universe._

Shut up. I knew it was stupid, but it was all I had in the moment.

And quit snickering. It hurts my feelings.

…

"Bella…_please,__"_ Edward begged through my still locked door. "Talk to me."

I held my breath. Maybe if I made absolutely no noise whatsoever, Edward would believe that aliens abducted me and go away.

Or, you know, that I left the apartment. Whatever. Potato, patahto.

"Bella, I know you're in there. Your keys and purse are still by the door."

Fuck.

"C'mon, B," he whined. "You can't avoid me forever."

Oh why don't you just watch me, Edward. I'm a master at avoidance. I snickered a little before slapping my hand over my mouth.

"Bella. Open the goddamn door."

Oooh, he sounded angry.

I imagined that the vein in his forehead was visible and his cheeks were all flushed, kind of like when he's on the brink of 's O-face is amazeballs. No lie. But that train of thought was not helping and only compounded my guilt. I decided to follow his lead.

"Edward can you not fucking read?" I yelled, trying to sound angry and annoyed. I'm pretty sure I just sounded like a PMSing thirteen-year-old. "You shall not pass! Now go away. I…I'm busy."

"Bella, baby…" he nearly crooned. Gah, not fucking fair dude. Calling me 'baby' did things to me. Like my heart thumped irregularly against my rib cage and my ladybits started tingling.

"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" I shrieked, wielding my imaginary Gandalf the Grey staff before covering my head with the blanket again.

I was going to Hell. Or perhaps I was already in Hell. I hadn't decided yet.

…

I had to hand it to Edward, he was a persistent little bastard. He kept pleading with me to open the door until he had to get ready and head to the bar. Luckily for me, he owned the damn thing and couldn't shirk the responsibility because his roommate made a clusterfuck of his romantic life. I hadn't heard a peep from Jasper and Emmett all morning and I didn't know if Edward had told them about our situation or if they simply hadn't come home last night.

I wasn't sure which I hoping for. I knew our roll in the hay would come out eventually, so part of me hoped that Edward had divulged it so I wouldn't have to. Then again, I didn't want to face the teasing that I knew would come with the other guys knowing everything.

I groaned loudly and sunk farther into my mattress. This entire situation was my fault, but that didn't mean I couldn't feel sorry for myself. Only I could fuck up so royally. Truly. I don't think there is anyone more qualified to screw up life than Bella fucking Swan.

"Hello?" A timid feminine voice called out from what sounded like the living room. I pulled a corner of my blanket down and peeked out.

"Hello?" I parroted. I wondered if I had officially lost my mind or if my version of Jiminy Cricket had popped by for a visit to tell me what an ass I was. I heard shuffling coming toward my bedroom and decided I should probably get out of bed to investigate.

I mean, it could have been some lady serial killer coming to end me or something. I wasn't completely unwilling to die. A brutal death by the hands of some deranged psychopath seemed on par with death by mortification. So I was cool with that fate; in fact, it seemed like a more noble way to die.

I pulled my door open just as Ladykiller made it to my room. She was taller than me, but not by much. And curvy. We're talking Jessica Rabbit curves, people. Bazoombas out to here and hips to die for. I couldn't see her ass, but I'm pretty sure you'd be able to bounce a quarter off of it. Add in wide, violet-blue eyes and long, wavy, flaxen hair and my murderer was a bombshell.

"Bella?" she questioned shyly.

Huh? Maybe the Jiminy Cricket theory was correct.

"Yes, conscience?" I looked at her more closely. She had on cute little eyeglasses that were just nerdy enough to be trendy and wore what looked like a Hufflepuff hoodie.

My conscience was a fuck-hot geek.

_I could totally deal with that._

She laughed quietly while pushing her glasses up, "I'm Rosalie."

Rosalie. Jiminy. Yep, she was definitely my conscience. Man, Pinocchio got the shaft. I'd prefer fuck-hot Rosalie to a talking bug _any_ day.

"I'm Edward's sister."

Oh fuck me up the ass.

_Eat shit and die, Disney. _

"Meep," I said instead.

Rosalie smiled gently and knowingly down at me and I felt like digging a hole and burying myself alive. At least that way I wouldn't embarrass myself anymore today.

"Edward was really worried and asked me to come by and check on you," she murmured softly. I may have swooned a little on the because really, how fucking sweet was that?

"Oh. Um, well….yeah, come on in," I swept my hand a-la-Vanna White towards my bed. Rosalie shuffled past me and plopped down, sitting all criss-cross-applesauce while playing with the end of her hoodie's sleeves.

We stared at each other in silence for several long and awkward moments. I kept praying that she'd come up with something to say because I was pretty sure _'__So __I __fucked __your __brother__'__s __brains __out __last __night. __It __was __awesome.__' _would not make a good opening.

"Edward told me what you did for him," Rosalie finally whispered. Jeez, this girl was so soft-spoken. As much as I hated to admit it, from her looks alone I would have thought she'd be pushy, obnoxious and full of herself. Instead she was completely unassuming. Gentle.

Wait, did she just say what I think she said? Did Edward tell his sister that I _banged_ him?

"Er." Wow , Rosalie would seriously start contemplating my lack of brain function if I didn't start speaking actual English soon.

"The way you stood up for him and put Angela in her place?" she murmured all sweet and wide-eyed. "You're kind of my hero, right now."

"Your hero?" I all but squeaked out. "No, Rosalie. I shouldn't be your hero. I did a terribly terrible, awesomely awful thing last night. You should be kicking my ass." I felt like dropping down to my knees and begging her to make it quick but painful. She would definitely want to at least beat the shit out of me if she knew the whole story.

Instead she just laughed. Hard. She even snorted a couple times. I stood there staring at her in confusion, wondering exactly what I said that was so funny.

"Oh, _God_, that is so rich. And so _Edward_," Rosalie coughed out between guffaws. "Okay. Alright. I'm okay," she said while wiping tears from her eyes. "Oh! I know what this calls for!" I continued to watch her in confusion as she leapt off of my bed and went scurrying towards the kitchen.

I mean, _was __it __just __me_, or did none of that make sense?

I heard cabinets opening and being slammed closed. I heard clinking and little snorting laughs echoing down the hall. I fell back on my bed and sighed. I had decided that nothing in my life made sense and perhaps I should just go with the flow.

Rosalie appeared a few seconds later juggling wine glasses and several bottles.

"Girls night?" she questioned with a raised brow and a smirk that looked an awful lot like her brother's.

Meh, as long as I'm going to hell…

…

"Okay, okay…back up," I was a little tipsy and wanted to make sure I remembered ever delicious morsel of information Rosalie was offering. "What did you just say?" I was also pretty sure I had A.D.H.D. because I had completely spaced out thinking about the scruff along Edward's jaw.

What? That shit felt ah-may-zing against my neck. I bet it would feel even better against my thighs and my…

"I said," Rosalie paused to take another gulp of her wine, "that Edward has trouble communing, no wait, combining…shit, that's not right either. Edward has trouble com-mun-icating his feelings. Yeah. That." She nodded decisively before giggling.

"Well he is a man, don't they all have that malfunction?" I mumbled into my empty glass before shoving it back in Rosalie's face for a refill.

"Well, yeah, I mean, I think so at least," she said before tipping the second bottle and emptying it into my glass. "But Edward actually has a good reason." Her voice turned a little somber and I sat up straight at the sound of it.

"Why?" I whispered. All of a sudden things felt very serious and people always whisper when shit gets real.

"Oh, Bella," Rosalie whispered with her lower lip trembling a bit. "He's just been through so much."

Her sad face made me feel all emotional. My eyes misted over and I felt the beginning of a sob-fest build in my chest.

"What happened to my poor boy?" I whimpered, scooting a little closer to my new forever best friend and clutching her hand.

"Okay, okay. You know how Edward's name is Edward Anthony Masen Cullen?" she said while swaying a little but managing to keep eye contact. Serious conversations require eye contact.

"No, but I do now," I whispered in return, swaying along with her.

"Right," she nodded. "Well, Edward's dad's name was Edward Anthony Masen and my mom named Edward after him."

"Tell me more," I pleaded. For a split second I thought about busting out some _Grease_ but quickly shook off the thought. Serious conversations do not warrant random singing. Instead I squeezed her hand gently and stayed silent.

"Edward Masen was a bad man," Rosalie whispered. After a deep breath and a long sigh she continued, "He cheated on mom all the time. Apparently he never wanted to be a father or some stupid shit and instead of telling her that he went out and dipped his wick in anything that moved!" Her voice kept getting louder and my heart ached for their mother.

What an asshole. Stupid men with their stupid penises.

"So mom finds out, right?" At her look, I nodded. "She kicked his sorry ass to the curb and filed for divorce. It was really tough for her and Edward after that. She worked like, three jobs to make ends meet and they were barely staying afloat." I kept nodding while searching my bed for a tissue or something. I found a sock and blew my nose into it, motioning for to continue with my glass. "Well, one day Edward fell off the slide at daycare and cracked his head open and they had to rush him to the emergency room and that's where our mom met my dad." I smiled at the dreamy grin on her face, thankful that her story seemed to be getting happier.

Tipsy Bella and sad stories simply do not mix.

"Edward was three at the time and mom says she fell in love with dad when he picked Edward up and cuddled him after stitching up his head. My dad says he couldn't stand seeing such a cute little boy cry the way Edward was, so he picked him up and rocked him while making funny faces and stuff." I may have swooned at the image myself. "Anyway," Rosalie waved her hand in the air as if it would help her get back on track. "They started dating shortly after that and got married about six months later. Well, Edward Masen didn't like that so much," I mirrored her angry expression by narrowing my eyes and huffing along with her.

"My mom was pregnant with me and my dad, well, he didn't want little Edward to feel left out you know? Mom was a Cullen, I would be a Cullen but then there was poor Edward who was all on his own as a Masen. So mom and dad asked her ex-husband to let Edward be adopted and change his name. I guess male pride or whatever made him balk at it or whatever and he said no. He said he was ready to be a father and wanted to spend time with Edward."

I gasped loudly. I wasn't sure exactly why, but it seemed like the right thing to do in the moment.

"I know, right? Stupid bastard," Rosalie agreed while nodding angrily. "So he took my mom and dad to court and got visitation rights and all that jazz. For a few years, he'd take Edward every other weekend and fill his head with garbage about how mom never really wanted him and that my dad only dealt with him because he wanted to be with mom. It was sick."

I gasped again but this time it was because my heart hurt. Poor Edward.

"Then he met Elizabeth, a young secretary that worked in his office and all but forgot about my brother. He never called anymore or came by to visit and my brother was only six, you know? He didn't understand what was going on. Edward had already been acting out because of all the lies he had been told, so when his dad deserted him it got much worse. He blamed our mom for making his dad go away and he hated our dad. They ended up having to put him in counseling and everything." Rosalie hiccupped and set her glass down in the floor before laying back on my bed. I followed her example and joined her once I discarded my own glass and turned to face her.

"Therapy helped and a few months later the bastard relinquished his rights and let Carlisle, that's our dad's name by the way, anyway, he let him adopt Edward. The only good thing that man ever did for my brother was sit him down and explain himself. He told Edward that he lied about our mom and that when he met Elizabeth and realized what real love was that he knew he had to let him and mom go. He wanted them to be as happy as he was with Elizabeth and that he wanted Edward to have a real father. Someone to tuck him in every night and be at all of his sporting events and stuff." Her sigh was long and drawn out and I opened my arms, letting her snuggle in before stroking her hair.

"Anyway, with some time and stuff, things got better. Edward accepted our dad as his father and we were one big happy family. Like Norman Rockwell happy." Rosalie snuggled a little closer and sighed contentedly. "But Edward has a hard time letting people in, even to this day. I think it's lingering abandonment issues or something."

"That's completely understandable," I murmured while staring up at my ceiling. I couldn't shake the image of a six-year-old Edward feeling lost and alone. I just wanted to hug the shit out of him.

"Yeah, it really is," Rosalie said. "And then if you add in the three whores that make up his serious girlfriends, it makes even more sense. First there was Tanya in high school. She and Edward dated for nearly three years. He worshiped her. I mean, he treated that bitch like a fucking princess. But Edward was a closet romantic at heart and had decided that he wanted to save himself for marriage, which I mean, c'mon, that's just so sweet."

I nodded in agreement smiling widely at the thought of a young Edward being all idealistic and sweet. My smile faltered a little when last night's events popped into my mind. There was no way Edward was a virgin. He knew how to work what his mama gave him and did so with mind-blowing efficiency. My bits started to tingle again just at the memory.

I pulled away from the cuddle session with my new bestie and sat up. I chewed on my lip before looking down at Rosalie, noticing that once again her pretty blue eyes seemed sad.

"What happened?" I asked while pulling my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. Rosalie sighed before sitting up and running her fingers through her hair.

"Tanya thought he was stupid. She said saving yourself for marriage was prudish and unrealistic. She pressured Edward a lot, telling him that he didn't love her enough and shit when he'd turn down her advances. Then she ended up boning one of his teammates in the locker room after a football game." Rosalie glowered at my bedspread. "Edward walked in on them. He was crushed."

"Oh my God," I whimpered while rubbing my chest to soothe the ache for my poor boy.

"Yeah. It was awful. And as if that wasn't enough, she bragged about it. She told the whole school that Edward was a pussy and that she went out and found a real man to fuck her senseless. Everyone believed Edward was gay for months," she punched one of my pillow several times. I just sat there shaking my head incredulously.

Who could do something like that?

__Obviously a_ nasty, skanky whore whose bagingo is probably herpes-infested and has teeth. That's who._

"Yeah, so Edward went off to college feeling like he had to prove his masculinity or something. I don't know all of the details, because we're a few years apart and I wasn't there, but he's told me a lot of it. He sort of threw himself into the fraternity scene and crap. You know, lots of drinking and lots of random hook-ups. He basically went from being Prince Charming to Captain Douchebag." Rosalie's face twisted a little in disgust but I couldn't find it in me to feel the same.

I mean, yeah, _ew_. But still, with everything he'd gone through, I thought it was understandable. I'd probably jump on the Ho Train too if I had to deal with that much shit.

"He acted like that until his junior year when I came to UW. He hated the idea of me living in the dorm with some random stranger. I've never been so good with people," she shrugged self-depreciatively before continuing. "So he talked our parents into an apartment for the two of us and cleaned up his act. He says it's because he didn't want his horrible behavior to rub off on me but I think he was tired of it all anyway. That's when he met Carmen." The way she spat her name made me cringe in anticipation.

"Carmen was your textbook gold-digger. All she saw was Edward's nice car, nice clothes and fancy apartment. I guess it wouldn't take a genius to figure out that our family was well-off." She rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath that sounded like _and __she __definitely __wasn__'__t __a __genius_. "She was always asking Edward for stuff. New clothes, fancy jewelry and shit like that. And Edward was so blind to it. He just gave her everything she wanted, no matter what it cost him. To this day I don't know whether he was trying to make up for his prior man-whore behavior or if he really thought she was in love with him. Regardless, he blew through his savings pretty fucking quickly and when he told her that he just couldn't afford to keep spending all of his money on trivial things, she dropped his ass like a hot potato."

"What a bitch!" I exclaimed, irrationally angry on Edward's behalf. My poor boy sure knew how to pick 'em.

_Yeah, because seducing the man after he was forced to witness his ex in all of her marital bliss was soooo much better, Swan._

Yeah, that thought sobered me up pretty quickly. Rosalie was oblivious to my growing distress and continued her storytelling after pouring us both another glass of wine. I took several long gulps while listening. I may have been trying to drown my guilt with the red alcohol.

"I couldn't agree more," she stated before tipping her glass in a mock-salute. "After that clusterfuck, he stayed single for a while. That's when he met Emmett and Jasper and they were the three amigos almost instantaneously. It was a bromance written in the stars. Well, until Edward met Angela and you've met that cunt-o-saurus and then Jasper met Maria. Luckily they both had Em to lean on when those relationships went up in smoke. They leased this apartment together along with their friend Mike, who recently got married and then you answered their ad and the rest is, as they say, history."

I sighed heavily while my shoulders slumped. I had to tell Rosalie what I had done and I just knew she'd be adding my name to her list of evil whores that had screwed her brother over. I took another long pull of my wine and prepared myself to spill my dark and dirty secret.

"And now Edward feels like a complete asshole because he didn't tell you how he felt about you before you guys knocked boots," Rosalie commented off-handedly and I choked painfully on my wine. I coughed and gasped while tears clouded my vision. "Shit, Bella! Are you okay?" she shrieked while pounding me on the back.

"Ha-how he-e feh-felt about me?" I coughed out through gasping breaths.

"Ah, shit! Yeah, he told me that you thought you took advantage of him last night because he didn't tell you about his feelings beforehand and he asked me to make sure you were okay and try to keep you from flipping the fuck out and taking off before he got home from work," she rushed to explain but kept beating on my back like I was a dirty rug or something.

"Rose-Rosalie! St-stop!" I begged while swatting at her fist-of-fury.

"Oh, right. Sorry," she smiled sheepishly. Once she stopped pounding the ever-loving hell out of me, I faced her with wide eyes.

"Edward has feelings for me?" I sort of squeaked.

"Uh, yeah," Rosalie grimaced before scrubbing her cheeks roughly. "Fuck, I wasn't supposed to say that. He wanted to tell you himself."

"Edward has feelings for me," I mumbled again trying to wrap my head around the idea.

"Shit. Yes, he has feelings for you. He figured it out when cunt-o-saurus dropped off the invitation and he maybe, kind of freaked out a little bit because you guys are friends and roommates and he didn't want to fuck everything up. But then he said that you were so nice and sweet and things just sort of happened and then this morning you ran away and wouldn't talk to him so he called me and begged me to help him out and he's my brother and I love him and I'd do anything to see him happy…" Rosalie rambled on, her pitch rising with each word as she tried to explain.

"Okay, okay. I hear you. I get it, I think. Calm down, sweetie." I patted her shoulder encouraging her to take deep breaths while I marveled at my new-found discovery.

Edward Cullen had feelings for me. I didn't take advantage of him in his emotional distress. No, last night wasn't a shameful thing. It was amazing and incredible and right.

And he meant it when he called me 'baby.'

"Oh my God, Edward Cullen likes me!" I squealed like a teenage girl. Rosalie nodded quickly with a smile lighting up her pretty features.

"Yeah, he really does," she stated emphatically. I couldn't contain my own grin and I bounced on the bed excitedly for several moments.

"This calls for a party, Rosie Posie!" I shrieked before racing out of the room in search of my phone.

Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, the fucking Adonis impersonator extraordinaire, had feelings for me. I wasn't a man-eating bitch that preyed on unsuspecting boys. And I was going to celebrate those facts with my best girl and my new best friend forever.

…

After explaining the situation, although carefully omitting the part about Edward's birth father to Alice, she was kind enough to bring several more bottles of wine to my impromptu party. When we were done with the appropriate squealing and jumping around, we turned our attention to the newest member of our chick squad. It dawned on me that during our lengthy discussion about Edward's past, Rosalie hadn't really told me much about herself at all. That just wouldn't do, not at all. I wanted to know all about my new best friend.

And I told her so.

"There's really not much to say," she mumbled bashfully.

"Bullshit," Alice responded and I nodded in agreement.

"Yeah. You're awesome," I said before resting my head against her shoulder. Rosalie snorted and shook her head before sighing.

"No, really. Bella you remember me telling you that I'm not so good with people?" I nodded while twisting a strand of her golden hair around my finger. I could see little bursts of that amazing bronze color her brother had dispersed throughout it. Rosalie was _so_ pretty. "Well, I wasn't lying. I'm a nerd. I'm awkward and I don't do so well in social situations. My brother is like, my closest friend and I spend way too much time with my nose stuck in a book. I'm _weird_," Rosalie finished, her voice quiet and kind of sad.

"Oh my fucknuggets." Alice snorted into her wine glass. At both my and Rosalie's questioning stares, she continued, "You two are like soul sisters or something."

"Hey soul sister, ain't that mister mister on the radio, stereo…" I sang under my breath, smiling fondly at the memory of Edward and my boys serenading me in our kitchen. A rush of awareness washed over me and I realized that was the exact moment Edward became more than just my roommate, more than just my friend. The moment he sang to me and made a complete fool out of himself was the moment he sort of captured my heart. I was surprised I hadn't realized it earlier.

I blinked rapidly beforeI tilted my head in confusion and looked over at Rosalie, who wore an equally puzzled expression. Alice huffed and gestured between the two of us emphatically.

"You _really_ don't see it, Bella?" She asked with a raised brow, but continued before I could respond. "The gorgeous Rosalie," Alice said while cupping the pretty girl's cheeks, "claims to be a socially-awkward book nerd who only has one close friend that happens to be her brother." She shook her head and pinched Rosalie's cheek playfully before placing her hands on my face and leveling me with her serious gaze. "And you, my equally gorgeous, dear, sweet Bella _are_ a socially-awkward book nerd with only one close friend. One that you've known since you were in diapers. I'm practically your sister."

"Hey!" I protested before smacking her hands away in jest. "I'm friends with the boys too."

"Ah, yes. How could I forget the _boys_?" Alice snarked. "Hey Rosie?" she questioned while maintaining eye-contact with me.

"Yeah, Ali?" Rosalie giggled at my best girl's antics.

"Are you close with Edward's other roommates?" Alice smirked, presumably because she already knew the answer.

"Oh yeah! Emmett and Jasper are great guys," she gushed and Alice laughed victoriously. I couldn't help myself and fell into a fit of giggles along with her.

"I think this could be the beginning of a B-E-A-utiful friendship, my darlings," Alice exclaimed and crushed Rosalie and myself into hug.

…

A little while and another bottle of wine later, Alice had Rosalie held captive with a curling iron while I drunkenly painted her toes.

"Sho, Rosie Posie, tells ush about the man in your life," Alice slurred. Yeah, Ali was a lightweight on normal occasions and we had been guzzling wine like it was the last drink we'd ever have. I watched Rosalie's eyes widen before I looked back down at her foot.

Shit, how the hell was I supposed to paint her nails black when they kept moving and multiplying on me?

"There isn't any man in my life," Rosalie said before averting her eyes.

"You're lying," I sing-songed. Rosalie kept avoiding my gaze so I scraped my thumbnail down the arch of her foot and gave her my best puppy-dog pout when she glared at me. "You really won't tell your new best friend about your guy?" I whined.

"He's not my guy," she mumbled kind of sadly. Alice finished curling her hair and moved to sit next to me in the floor.

"Dude. Schpill," she demanded drunkenly.

"Yeah. Tell us," I pleaded, holding her foot to my chest and sticking my bottom lip out a little further.

"Guys, it's so stupid. Really." Rosalie sighed and covered her face with her hands. I shook her foot and smiled when she peeked through her fingers at us. "Oh my God, fine! It's Emmett, okay?" she finally acquiesced while throwing her hands up in the air. I gasped, still smiling, as Alice clapped her hands happily.

"That's so sweet. Isn't that so sweet, Ali?" I turned my attention to my best gal and she beamed at me in agreement.

"No! It's not sweet. It's fucking stupid," Rosalie groaned and pulled her foot away from me. Alice and I frowned in response. "Emmett doesn't see me as anything more than Edward's dorky little sister and would never do anything if he did see me as more because Edward would freak the fuck out. And yet I'm still so stupidly in love with his adorable dimples and the weird way he randomly yells at people and things. He's so cute and so sweet and he'll never see me the same way." I scurried to hug her when she began wailing and Alice made us into a girl-hug-sandwich when she joined in.

"I have a plan," Alice whispered several minutes later, sounding much more sober than she did before. Rosalie and I exchanged a wary glance before extracting ourselves from the three-way hug.

"Ali," I warned. I had fallen victim to several of Alice's nefarious plans in the past and was more than a little worried by the devious sparkle in her eyes.

"Oh, c'mon girls," she said with far too much enthusiasm as she scrambled to her feet. "Rosie, you're in love with Emmett and want to catch his attention right?" At Rosalie's nod she continued while pacing around my room, "And Bella, you can't tell me that you don't want to fuck with Edward, _just __a __little __bit_, for the shit he pulled last night?" At my frown she crossed her arms and huffed. "Bella, come on! He lead you to believe he was pining over his ex before sleeping with you! I mean yeah, he's had shit for luck with relationships and yeah, it was kind of sweet that he sent his sister to check up on you, so I'm not suggesting anything really mean. I just think you ought to mess with him a little bit. Use the new-found information you have for the power of good and help Rosie bag her man!"

I chanced a look in Rosalie's direction and noted that she looked as confused and worried as I felt.

"What the hell are you suggesting, Alice?" I asked while turning my attention back to my clearly insane friend. "I mean, what exactly could we do? Oh, wait, I know! I'm supposed to flirt shamelessly with Edward to keep him from noticing that we've dressed Rosalie up like a Barbie and unleashed her on an unsuspecting Emmett, right?" I snarked sarcastically.

I seriously believe my and Rosalie's twin gasps could be heard around the world when Alice stopped her pacing and faced us, her eyes sparkling with mischief and a dangerous edge to her grin.

"That's _exactly_ what I'm suggesting."

* * *

><p><em>Uh oh. <em>

_I'm pretty sure the boys are in for a wild ride, but Alice did warn Edward about messing with her girl, so I cant really blame her._

_What's your favorite move to get a guy's attention? How do you use your femininely wiles? _


End file.
